Back to School: Supporting Children Through Transitions, Anxiety, and New Challenges

The start of a new school year can bring excitement, fresh opportunities, and the chance to make new friends. It can also bring some anxiety, and in most cases that is totally OK. Not all anxiety is bad after all; it’s often a perfectly understandable reaction to circumstances we find ourselves in, in this case a change to a well known routine, staff members and sometimes location and environment that a child has been in for a whole year or more.

However, for some children and young people, the return to school after the summer break

or a move to a new school altogether can feel daunting, stressful, and overwhelming. Their anxiety moves beyond being a tricky but understandable response to the situation,  and it starts to interfere with their day to day school experience.

As an educational psychologist, I work closely with families, schools, and young people who experience a wide range of challenges during these types of transitions. This blog explores some of the common difficulties children face when returning to school and offers some initial strategies that staff and parent carers can use for supporting them.

Anxiety About Starting a New School or Year Group

For some children, September means a familiar classroom, teacher, and peer group. For others, it means stepping into the unknown. Starting at a new school, moving into a different year group, or facing new teachers can trigger heightened anxiety that may start to become unmanageable.

Signs of anxiety may include:

• Difficulty sleeping in the run-up to the new term

• Stomach aches, headaches, or other physical complaints

• Reluctance or refusal to talk about school

• Tearfulness or irritability

• Withdrawal from friends or family

What can help:

• Routine visits: If possible, arrange for your child to visit the new school/classroom ahead of time or revisit familiar areas before term starts.

• Visual supports: Use photos of the new classroom, timetable, or school staff to help reduce uncertainty. If more is needed, think about how to provide a “social map” of how to deal with certain flash points in the day, such as transitioning into school in the morning, e.g. “We get in the car at 8am and drive to school (include picture to support)”, then “We will open the gate and walk across the playground to the classroom door (picture to support)” and so on. Remove the uncertainty from the really tricky parts of the day.

• Keep in touch time: If some brief contact such as emails or short video messages from new key staff over the holiday period or lead up to the change can be provided, this can help start establishing trust and positive relationship building prior to any changes happening.

• Transitional objects: A small item from home (such as a keyring or bracelet) can provide comfort during the day. Remind your child that when you are apart, this object can remind them you are still thinking of them.

• Reassurance and validation: Acknowledge your child’s feelings avoid dismissing them with “you’ll be fine.” Instead, try: “I know you feel worried, and that makes sense when things are new.”

  
  

Settling Back Into Routine

The long summer holiday often means later bedtimes, irregular mealtimes, and a break from the structure of school days. For many children especially those who thrive on predictability

this can make September a rocky transition.

Common difficulties include:

• Struggling with early mornings

• Forgetting equipment or homework

• Increased tiredness and irritability in the first few weeks

• Emotional outbursts after school (“after-school restraint collapse”)

What can help:

• Gradual adjustment: In the week before school, reintroduce earlier bedtimes and wake-up times.

• Organisational aids: Visual timetables, checklists, and laid-out uniforms can reduce morning stress.

• After-school downtime: Build in relaxation time after school before tackling homework or extracurriculars. This may also mean not asking your child how their day was, which we can find hard to do sometimes; they might just need time to totally decompress when they first arrive home.

• Consistent routines: Even simple rituals like reading before bed or an evening meal at a set time can provide much-needed stability.

The Pressure of Homework and Exams

As pupils move into higher year groups, demands on their time and energy increase. For children preparing for SATs, GCSEs, or A-Levels, the looming pressure of exams can cause significant stress.

Possible challenges include:

• Feeling overwhelmed by homework

• Procrastination or avoidance of study tasks

• Heightened perfectionism (“I can’t hand this in unless it’s perfect”)

• Sleep difficulties due to worry about upcoming tests

What can help:

• Chunking tasks: Breaking down homework or revision into small, manageable parts.

• Study routines: A consistent time and place for homework can reduce battles.

• Body doubling: This can work wonders for those students who are neurodivergent, but is helpful for all pupils in terms of reducing isolation and supporting them to feel that they have someone in their corner. If possible in your household, maybe try to work or study alongside them and set goals together e.g. let’s work for 30 minutes and then take a 5 min break to make a cuppa. 

• Balance: Encourage breaks, physical activity, and social connections wellbeing supports learning.

• Open dialogue with school: Teachers may be able to adjust workloads or provide additional support.

Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA)

One of the more serious challenges families face is Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA), sometimes referred to as “school refusal” or “school avoidance”. This occurs when a child’s anxiety or distress is so high that attending school becomes extremely difficult, verging on impossible, because their nervous system is so activated it is being interpreted as a threat. In this way it can be seen that it is not a choice they make. They are in survival mode.

Warning signs may include:

• Regular complaints of illness on school mornings

• Long delays in leaving the house

• Distress or meltdowns when school is mentioned

• Partial attendance (e.g., arriving late or leaving early)

Supporting children with EBSNA involves:

• Understanding the root cause: Is anxiety linked to academic pressure, social worries, sensory difficulties, or fear of separation?

• Collaborating with school: A flexible, graduated return plan can sometimes help.

• Professional support: Educational psychologists, counsellors, or CAMHS may provide assessment and tailored strategies.

It’s important for families to know that EBSNA is not a sign of “naughtiness” or poor parenting. It is a real and distressing experience for children that requires understanding and support.

Neurodivergent Children and Burnout

For autistic and other neurodivergent children, school can be a place of sensory overload, constant social effort, and hidden stress. Returning after the summer may tip them into neurodivergent burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and cognitive exhaustion that builds up over months or years of (often unseen) enormous effort to manage and hide their difficulties.

Signs of burnout can include:

• Extreme fatigue and difficulty functioning

• Heightened sensitivity to noise, light, or touch

• Withdrawal from social interaction

• Increased meltdowns or shutdowns

Supporting neurodivergent children:

• Reduce demands: Allow extra time both in school and after school for regulation and calming strategies and support.

• Predictability: Use visual schedules and advanced notice of changes.

• Safe spaces: Provide quiet areas at home or school where your child can decompress.

• Understanding from adults: Recognise that masking (suppressing neurodivergent traits) at school takes a big toll.

If you’d like to explore this further, I have written a separate blog post about autistic burnout which you can find here.

Practical Steps for Parents and Carers

Here are some strategies parents can try at home to support children through back-to-school transitions:

• Listen and validate: A child who feels understood and knows their feeling is not wrong or weird, but actually can be normal, is better equipped to cope next time. Try not to jump straight into problem solving (see the fourth bullet point down).

• Acknowledge what you hear them saying or what you see them communicating through their behaviour. E.g. for a primary aged child,  “I’m so sorry you had a tough time in Maths today. It’s really hard when you don’t understand something. Sometimes I can feel like that at work, and I get a horrible feeling in my tummy. Did you get a feeling anywhere? Let’s have a hug and some quiet time together then maybe I/we can think about things we can try to do to make it easier next time”. 

• Focus on strengths: Remind them of times they managed challenges in the past. 

• Problem-solve together: Ask them what they did to overcome those challenges. What worked for them before? Can they try that this time? Brainstorm solutions with your child and make the possible solutions a collaborative effort, to foster and grow your child’s sense of mastery and autonomy as they grow.

• Use school partnerships: Teachers, SENCOs, and pastoral staff can offer adjustments and support.

• Seek professional help early: If challenges persist or escalate, reaching out to an educational psychologist can offer specialist insight and problem exploration for complex and ongoing emotional challenges with school attendance.

  
  
  
  

Final Thoughts

The return to school is rarely seamless for every child. Anxiety, disrupted routines, increased academic pressure can all make September feel like an uphill climb. But with understanding, structured support, and open communication, children can be helped to navigate these challenges and thrive.

If you are concerned about your child’s transition back to school, or if you would like personalised advice and strategies, please feel free to get in touch with the team at Elm Psychology. Together, we can support your child to feel more confident, resilient, and ready for the year ahead.

This article was written by Dr Emma L. Mercer, Educational Psychologist at Elm Psychology. HCPC Registration: PYL38502

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